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Forum Thread: Relax & Chat – June 2010

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taffy078 Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 1st Jun, 2010 07:11
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Hello! This is one of the two new threads that have evolved from the OPEN DOOR thread. It’s the first of what may become a series of monthly threads - if you want it to!

The aim of this thread is simple – here to can keep in touch with other members! We welcome members from all around the world.

It will reviewed in a month’s time so . . . . . over to you!


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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 1st Jun, 2010 08:47
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Last edited on 1st Jun, 2010 08:50
I'm hoping that Anthony Wells will sponsor a monthly competition for worst joke of the month. How about it Anthony - are you game? ;0)

Here's my entry:

You'll all know Mogs, of course, but what you don't know is that he had a rather unfortunate start to one of his jobs when he was an apprentice***.

He was only 16 when, leaving the office at lunchtime on his first day, he found his new Chief Executive standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CE, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said Mogs. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CE as his paper disappeared inside the machine.
"I just need one copy."

(*** Is "apprentice" understood/used elsewhere in the world?)

PS Sorry about my Typo in the first post: "here to can keep in touch" should read "here you can keep in touch".

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Last edited on 1st Jun, 2010 09:27
Taffy....what are you doing ?!
You've now let the world know why I turned to sorcery, skullduggery, and necromancy !! I could see in my crystal ball, I had no future in paper !!

Chat and relax ?! No character assassination nor cybercop attacks ?! I can take a joke.....thank your lucky stars it was a good one !!! Ha! Um..er...mither and dither...where did I put my old gas mask.....name, rank and number ?! Can we please have a reveiw of the Geneva Convention ?!

"Good morning Vietnam "
I'm not a fast talker....where are we emotionally

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 1st Jun, 2010 09:33
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Some more porkies for you, Mogs:


Two sausages were sizzling away in a very hot frying pan.

First sausage: "Gee whiz - it ain't 'arf hot in here."

Second sausage: "Oh my gawd - a talking sausage!!!!".


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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 1st Jun, 2010 09:42
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It's not worth tryin' to get out of this frying pan taffy !!
We''ll only finish up in another burning ring of fire !!
Cash is'nt bass these days ?!

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 1st Jun, 2010 10:27
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Hi All;

As I currently find it hard to sleep:

There was an organ grinder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organ_grinder who was getting old and wished to retire. His organ was in ill repair and no one would purchase it. He also had a pet monkey, which although he cared for it, he had to sell.

One day a man approached the organ grinder about purchasing his business and the rights to the street corner he worked. They came to agreement and money changed hands. "One more thing.", the retired organ grinder said, "here's your monkey, he goes with the deal." The new man said, "What do I want with the monkey?" The old man laughed, "When playing music, how do you think I collect the money above the first floor? The women love him!"

Unfortunately the man could not fix the organ. Fortunately he owned and played the accordion. Problem solved.

One evening there was a sudden power outage and the lights went out, along with radios and phonographs. Although lighting their rooms with candles to see, the people were upset because they had nothing to listen to. Thinking to make a fast buck, the man grabbed his accordion. He and the monkey went out in the street and began their routine.

While on the third floor, the monkey sat on a window sill. The poor creatures tail landed in a lit candle and caught afire. A woman yelled out, "Do you know your monkeys tail is on fire!?!" The accordionist called back, "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll have a go!"


I'm tired now, good night/morning, whatever;

Fred

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 1st Jun, 2010 11:37
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definitely worthy of "best worst joke of the month" award so far, Fred!

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Anthony Wells RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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For taffy ,

The "joke bin" was suggested to be "separate" so as not to put off a broader range of companionable viewers to your thread ; perhaps seeking erudition from Mogs . It would also allow simple trashing with no remnants , no way back , using CCleaner on Gutman (35) setting .

If sponsorship involves time or money , you are living in a "dream world" :)) Lovely , but not real !!

Take care
Anthony


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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 1st Jun, 2010 13:49
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Thanks Anthony - not seeking money! I was going to offer fake prizes such as a week's hang-gliding in Iceland but I thought that would not be PC - which I'm not!

So excuse me for really being thick but the Dustbin needs to be a separate thread (every month)?? With an appropriate heading?

In which case I couldn't do this:
"It would also allow simple trashing with no remnants , no way back , using CCleaner on Gutman (35) setting ".

So what should/can I do next, please?

Also, how can we attract more ladies to these threads?



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Anthony Wells RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Doesn't matter , taffy ,Secunia could be bribed to be Gutman (or Beerbelly to his mates) and do the job .

Just as an example ,your first joke is very funny but it is only seen from the/a male point of view ; it could be a senoir female manager(ess) talking to a colleague about a dumb male secretary asking Mogs for advice with the same result .

Ask your wife or daughter(s) what they would like to see or chat about ; they are usually far more entertaining as far conversation goes ; unless you like "old farts" telling schoolboy "jokes" . Engaging the brain is not a crime nor a prerequisite for a conversation ; having mutual or general interests is .

Or get your missus to run a "Mrs. taffy thread" ; you'd likely find sponsors for that :))

Anthony

Try advertising on the Kim Komando show .

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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The word erudition came into Middle English from Latin. A scholar is erudite (Latin eruditus) when instruction and reading followed by digestion and contemplation have effaced all rudeness ("e- (ex-) + rudis"), that is to say smoothed away all raw, untrained incivility. Common usage has blurred the distinction from "learned".
Dear Anthony,
Above reference extracted from Wikipedia.....where I'd once trog-it around Oxford D. quite frequently. Have you ever read anything of Mathew Arnold....hardly a skeletal arrangement....nor overly developed intellectual."If" my old bones don't get cremated and ground down; cheerful liberality in my time; they'll still bear no silent witness of. One day my prince will come with patronage or bounty...is'nt me ! Having written...progress is'nt always impeded by the Will to move on ?!

BTW....Have you tried the Evidence Remover Tool in Revouninstaller ?

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Taffy....maybe we're already on track , human and feminine interest to attract...we are already doing our bit to decrease monthly world tensions are'nt we ! I can't remember when I was last at the beach or Nile Delta !! Lots of them are'nt into Sport.....I don't need a politcal protagonist (?)......my sons won't always "listen" ! They're oft "driven off" emotionally by a ferocious temper....I don't do a good impersonation of Dustin nor Tootsie ?!

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Anthony Wells RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Hi Mogs , glad I din't add "Prolix" , Laudy Laudy .

ThesaurusLegend: Synonyms Related Words Antonyms
Noun 1. erudition - profound scholarly knowledge
encyclopaedism, encyclopedism, eruditeness, learnedness, learning, scholarship
education - knowledge acquired by learning and instruction; "it was clear that he had a very broad education"
letters - scholarly attainment; "he is a man of letters"
Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2008 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

Rather had you as "the man of letters" .

Matthew Arnold has not beaten a path to my door, neither has Revouninstaller so cannot pronounce any verdict on their potential contribution to my well being .

Anyway that's my (one) moving finger type cast , so i'll move on .

Take care

Antony

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Man of letters, will do for me Anthony : but do I need formal recognition to be identified as sometimes vaguely humourous ? One's peers may be less judicious; yet of fraudulence in common usage...more aware ?! I'm not getting fingered as a will o' the wisp ?!

Well worth lookin at Anthony....Revo and the various tools contained therein. A kind of quickening effect even after Gutmann !

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 1st Jun, 2010 17:55
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on 1st Jun, 2010 14:49, Anthony Wells wrote:
... unless you like "old farts" telling schoolboy "jokes"...


@Ant, I resemble that!

@All, bring on the 'great dame(s)', we need some fresh air.

(The previous remark was intended as a pun. No reference to ladies as 'dames', unless they like the term, is solicited, nor approved by the creator of this thread, the forum at large, Secunia or any of their respective subsidiary's. This offer may be removed, at any time, without notice, at the encouragement of my fellows. No prize shall be awarded, must be at least 18 years to enter, offer void in UK. Check our website for rules & information.)


gotta go do stuff;

Fred

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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LONDON (Reuters) - James Bond's 1964 Aston Martin DB5, dubbed by auto auctioneers RM Auctions on Tuesday as the "world's most famous car," will go under the hammer in London in October and is expected to fetch over $5 million (3 million pounds).

Gees....what's one of Ian's old Olivettis worth ?!
Another slant on The Roadshow ?!
This fast car's off the market ?!


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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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taffy ! I put a message on your IM.....where are you ?!

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 3rd Jun, 2010 09:08
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Last edited on 3rd Jun, 2010 09:09
Hi Mogs. I moved my phones & internet service from BT to Sky four (?) weeks ago and gave notice after only two weeks to move back!

Yesterday was the day. Sky cut everything off at 9 am. BT got my phone service back at 11.30 am and my broadband at 3.30 pm. Farce!

And, as you will see from the new Off-Topic thread, I still have intermittent Live Mail issues! But I've calmed down after my little rant!

Hoping you enjoyed your trip up North yesterday! ;)0

Edit: typo

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Had a good run yesterday......back before tea/dinner. Weather stayed bright all day. Sorry to hear you've been stressed out with the changeover. That must explain the IM farce this morning.
Don't know where I'm going today but it's likely to be on something bendy and windy and wide ?!

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 3rd Jun, 2010 10:14
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Last edited on 3rd Jun, 2010 10:19
thank you Cheermay. But I do believe that you have posted lots of similarly helpful items recently across the internet.

That may be against Forum rules so 'watch this space'.

EDIT:added "across the internet" plus corrected typos

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Have I missed something here....who the heck is Cheermay ?!

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 3rd Jun, 2010 10:33
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Hi Mogs. Posts like his/hers when done as new threads usually end up being removed. Could be phishing/spam/crapnet or whatever the technical terms are - I always get them wrong and I never express any sarcasm when posting a reply!
It will be interesting to see of Secunia can remove individual posts. (I presume they can remove a member, which would have same effect?)

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 3rd Jun, 2010 10:35
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just noticed Mogs. Cheermay has gone already!!!!!!

It was an advert about software to convert file formats. Google Cheermay and you'll see why I replied as I did.

SECUNIA SUPPORT: That was quick!!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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I see. Had a quick look.....all explained.....thanks taffy.

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 4th Jun, 2010 07:49
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Hi guys;

Been busy & can't talk long.

@Taffy, what the hecks the deal with edit this & edit that??? (Kidding, I do the same thing, just don't always announce it!) Also, it is horrible that your broadband internet was interrupted for a few hours. I wouldn't know what that's like...because I can't get broadband!!! Ever try to watch something on You-tube at the blinding download speed of 5.3 KBps? If it's a 5 minutes video I have time to mow the yard (1.5 - 2 hrs.). Humph!

@Mogs, How ya doin'!

Well gotta go to bed, more stuff to do tomorrow, will try to be in touch.


Fred

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 4th Jun, 2010 21:05
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Poor Fred.

He posted his comments six weeks ago and they have just arrived here.

Why so slow, Fred? Icelandic ash?

Nah! C'mon Fred - it's because where you live is south of Secunia so your posts have to zimmer uphill! Like mine do! :0)

Poor Mogs lives "darn sarf" as we say oop north, but he's so busy speeding at 150 kmph that his laptop (stuck on his windscreen, next to his sat sav) struggles to keep in touch. The cable on it is only 300 miles long.

Good night Fred.

Hello Mogs!!!!! ;0)

PS Sorry for the frivolity & poor humour. I worked my doodahs off today in the sunshine (26 degrees C - hot for here) rolling the lawn. When I came to relax with a beer in the garden, it started to rain. Very much!!

C'mon sunshine tomorrow!!

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 4th Jun, 2010 21:08
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PS Fred.

I copied the experts here with doing the Edit bit e.g. "EDIT: typed again as I fell off my chair".

I thought that was the correct procedure.

Edit: typo. (telling porkies/fibs/lies!)

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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taffy/Fred !

I've spent more time oop north this week, it seems. Leeds; Hartlepool and Manchester today....burned up a bit of "gas" ( for my American friend ): personally tho' I hav'nt got a carbon tyre print ! Let alone a caterpillar ?!
Just wanted to get home to my bacon/black pudding and fried bread !!
Prehistoric man may have been more intuitively and instinctively and ecologically friendly....without having realized it ?
Do you like laver bread taffy ?

Hopefully I'll be fully refreshed and in better humour tomorrow.....there's no way our chat is confused with greenhouse gases ?!

Sleep tight...hope the bugs and vamps don't bite.


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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 5th Jun, 2010 08:52
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never had laver bread, Mogs. You'll now have to tell the world what it is!

Also black pudding!!

PS Have you had white pudding? People who are put off by how black pudding is made think white pudding is made that way too. But it's not.

It Scottish I think - Fred or anyone else reading this: do you eat/have you heard of white pudding in your part of the world?

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 5th Jun, 2010 09:20
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Morning taffy......just gonna get my verse for the day written; then I'll try and answer the pudding questions !!

Choice of three titles :-

(!) Where's the key H. Potter ?!
(2)What have they done to my poetry ?!
(3)Boot Time Defrag....whizzing along !

Came home via Chester to Merthyr and Cardiff yesterday.
Not where the sand meets the sea.
Saw a prefabricated industrial document storage unit;
in amongst the bushes, trees, and green leaves !

From Chester to Wrexham, Llandridnod and Builth:
glimpsed the river (nameless) sometimes.
The cows were in the meadow;
the sheep were grazing sweetly;
few signs of contention:
Some may have tamed shrews ?!

Then trundled over the Beacons:
dilapidated fences and untrimmed hedges quite pretty.
For Britain but not Arthur !!
I don't need a passport ?!
Really, a very vague character....plenty of meat in court ?!
The outline should be pencilled in ?!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Last edited on 5th Jun, 2010 09:38
Laver bread is'nt in Wikipedia ?!...I'll have a look after my own brief explanation.

It's a mulch of a particular seaweed...rich in iron I think.
You can get it with or without oatmeal added.
I usually have it fried up with bacon/black pud and mushrooms.
I like it with the addition of some garlic....purifies the blood apparently.

Black pudding....usually in the form of a big fat sausage.
It's the solidified/dried blood of beast with additional fats herbs and spices.
Fried in slices.

They are both, what I would call, acquired tastes....at first there be found some self -opposition apparent....blaming of the cook....a week stomach may throw it out !! I'm at the ummmmm stage !!


PS Tried Scot red sausage but not white pudding. Have you ?


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Anthony Wells RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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Mogs ,

Did you see me in Builth - near a river ?? What do you recon to the Beacons ??

You can get me near Bath if need be ; aka "The Bishop" .

Lost in Wiki :-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laver_(seaweed)#Laverbre ad

If you don't get the full link -> seaweed ->(scroll down) Laverbread

Taffy ,

White pudding is a rare Scottish delicacy - not to be confused with Boudin blanc - and makes a change from "curry and chips" or "a Chinese" on the way home after a nice night out (in any good Edinburgh chippy , at least :))) :-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_pudding

Just look at that Irish brekkie (missing te garlic:(( : Gourmet or gourmand , that is te question ; whether tis' noble to nibble or glutinous to stuff ?? It's all in the batter .

Take care
Anthony

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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I was'nt really thinking along those lines Anthony.....but being as you brought it up.....saw them " taking the waters" in the Metropole in Llandridnod. You've got some very illustrious namesakes : Orson, HG etc.: maybe also the occasional curse ? Haps it's no real mystery why things like The Time Machine got written....the ink was'nt as polluted as some canals are now (!)....I'm not saying my father was an Alsation with a good name, but I hav'nt got a multi-coloured glittering coat ?!
When I was a soldier sometimes I had a purifying tablet....before I could drink it !
There's no end of glorious mud and young gun smoke ?! One finger doth not make an amorous prawn ?! I'm flippin' glad he did'nt leave me an old ruin some dark night! Hamlet ?!


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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 5th Jun, 2010 22:08
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Hi all;

American (Canadian also?) pudding:

Black = chocolate
White = vanilla
Yellow = banana
White w/lumps = tapioca (fish eye, if down south [just kidding])

The laver bread sounds like not so much for me, would have to try before I judge. Now blood sausage, I like. Haven't had since Mom was making it some twenty years ago. Polish version has rice (true version made with stale bread) for filler, lots of onion & garlic and, I believe some fennel seed (think Italian sausage) which may have been Mom's addition to the recipe. When I say that I haven't had in many years, I mean I haven't had any that tasted right. We called it "krvavice" (had to check my own spelling on that one, imagine) which is the Croatian, in Polish it is "kiszka" but rarely was called that, don't know why. Of course the Pols & Croats in Kansas City mixed pretty well, back then, because their ethnicity did not go over well in this part of the world. At get together's there was plenty of good food, beer, wine & liquor. BTW, I know curse words in both Pol & Croat and sometimes don't know which language I'm cussing in.

Speaking of foods, Mom usta ('used to', still poor grammar, even if spelled correctly) make; fried pork brains with scrambled eggs, roasted beef tongue, golumpki (cabbage rolls), kielbasa (polish sausage) and povatitsa bread (they ate it with ham, mostly. I liked it with butter and a glass of milk.) I don't know the names of the first two dishes, but pigs are swinia and cows are krowa.

About the cabbage rolls, don't get sarma (again, had to check spelling manually) as the cabbage tastes like sauerkraut, unless you like sauerkraut. The crazy Croat's love it.


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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 5th Jun, 2010 23:47
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I'm never gonna be able to remember all that Fred ! The recipes nor the spelling!!
Still, I have to say it was very informative.....so your forbears did'nt have an easy time of it even after crossing the Atlantic? What goes into our stomachs is or is'nt a bigger piece of each our own culture....the language on the bottle is sometimes better or worse than the wine itself ? I'm not trying "poor man's oysters" again! Even the birds would'nt attack them when I threw them out !!
Some make a mountain of ethnicity, by holding on to typical characteristics perhaps....but a just human nation will never fall ? I'm not a student of China...the quality of freedom for the number? This planet will not survive overcrowding....prophecy.......the glass in the greenhouse is the last frontier ? Who designed the tee shirt ?

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 6th Jun, 2010 01:49
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Hi Mogs;

The lack of ethnic blending when I was young ('60's & early '70's) was more by choice than anything else. Pollocks, as they were called then, didn't mix well. People couldn't understand the culture. It was simple, play Polka music, get a drink, dance, get a drink, eat something, get a drink, tell a Pollock joke, get a drink, lie about how much you get paid at work, get a drink, pee in the potted plant at the end of the hall that leads to the bathroom, go home. I personally think the cultural problem was the Polka music, I like it some, others can't stand it.

Seriously though, while I'm sure that some folks looked down on the Pols & Croats that I knew, there was nothing like discrimination, racial profiling or hate crimes going on. Sorry about leaving that point unclear.

On a slightly different note, I am unsure what actual Pols in Poland think about my attempt at humor above. The ones I know here would read that, laugh and go get another beer!


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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 6th Jun, 2010 02:30
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Last edited on 6th Jun, 2010 02:37
For the 'dumb' joke bin:

A company was hiring an accountant. There were three applicants. The first went into the office and placed a resume on the desk. After looking it over the boss said, "Very good, I have just one question. You may be offered the position, depending on the response given." The job seeker spoke, "Yes sir, I'll do my best!". The bosses question was, "What does two plus two equal?". The man stood amazed, even dumbfounded for a moment, then blurted out, "Well, four, of course." The boss thanked him and asked him to send in the next applicant. The second one received the same question and gave the same answer. When the third man was asked what two plus two was, he very carefully went to the office door, peeked out, shut & locked it. He then went to the window and closed the curtains. Going back to the desk, he leaned forward and whispered, "What do you want it to be?" Big surprise who got the job.

(Taffy has to have heard that one)

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 6th Jun, 2010 12:27
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catching up!!

We now that Mogs is a poet - and we didn't know it. So glad you got back OK Mogs from Leeds - the M62 near here was at a standstill again on Friday.

And that he is discreet - he didn't make the obvious rhyme with Builth (pronounced "Bilth") - which might have upset Anthony! Did you live there? I've only been a few times - lovely place.
And the Brecon Beacons are a great part of the UK - when the weather is nice! And white pudding with alcohol! Yummy.

And you Fred have shown us your culinary knowledge! Some great memories.

One of my great memories is sunshine - about two weeks ago. It's now raining heavily so I reckon we should all go to Maurice's today for a BBQ!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 6th Jun, 2010 17:36
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Well, we're all at reading-level on here Fred....regardless of scenic surroundings, makeup and background...what we have in our pockets....who writes the scripts or commands ?! Who put the bricks together ?! It's a strange thing.....tho' I don't make a sound you can sometimes hear me ?
I sometimes sit here and watch as the timely bus passes yon' pub ( joint, bar ):
An old-looking wooden clock ticks serenely on the wall behind me:
I'm not an old door.....I just don't seem to fit in anywhere !
Escaping jams....I'm oft in a pickle....I've learned tho'....you can read me anytime....some tickers have a different sense of timing ?
Should I say this; should I say that...the right time and it need not offend ?
We've got all kinds of social upheaval and consternation:
disintegrating social cohesion ?
I'll moot a subject now and again;
but I'm not the glue nor cement ?!
Sometimes we met in the same spirit...I'm not pulling your leg ?!


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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 6th Jun, 2010 18:03
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And the M6 south.......every man and his dog !
"I'm not getting stuck in that lot !" says me;
whilst navigating northwards !
"What if I get stuck behind a hayrick ?"
"At least single lanes will be easier to deal with "
It sometimes takes a while to weigh up.
It'll profit my Soul if I can just get home....
it's not always incredible odds....time of the year,
and no snow on the mountaintops ! I'm grey now not grey owl !
When I was a kid the Beacons was a hill to this goat ?!

Riddle for taffy ?!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 7th Jun, 2010 07:56
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It all could have been so different
if the Shires, and not cricket, had become the focal authority......
with an emphasis 'pon pricking the ballooning
national council's purse ?
One representitive from every Shire to oversee spending 'pon defence,
charity and education ?
And , of course much more far reaching dreams and schemes ?!

Cock-robins would still get arrowed on fences ?
Great eulogies would still get written by clerks ?
I don't need a kick in the head from a great white horse:
nor a medicinal bullet that will work very fast ?

We cannot afford some images ?
We'd still help our neighbors ?
There'll always be courts without ass and kanga dispute ?
The ideal example need'nt be held up as York ?

Split; torn, divided in three:
It's becoming one big dumpy, scruffy, untended, agricultural or industrial park ?
Autism, altzheimers ( Joseph's?!), motor neurone....
senility and spinning.
Turf wars don't kill drugs.

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 8th Jun, 2010 07:19
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welcome, donald!

As you will see, this is an area where members can relax and chat.

There's a diverse range of comments on many subjects, though a tad*** slanted towards the weather - we Brits are said to be obsessed with it! - and the road system - Mogs sometimes find himself stuck in it!

Not too often, eh, Mogs?

And you'll also find the odd joke - if you look hard enough!

*** Just one tip - sometimes you may have to 'translate'. In this case, "tad" means ' a little bit'.

Will the US of A beat England in their forthcoming World Cup game? Soccer/football - the game that will draw nations close to each other. (Hah!)

Anthony - were you sad, pleased or not bothered about the Liverpool manager leaving?

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 8th Jun, 2010 09:10
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That's why it's got to be snooker or some kind of tennis taff ?
Individuals get a chance to meet from different nations with a chance of exploring their abilities/capabilities and some preconceived limits....with the hope in their hearts of taking things further without offending anybody ? No blinding or F's ?!
This is'nt Pool nor Ping Pong ?!

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xjklt RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Member 8th Jun, 2010 10:51
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Hello Taffy. I know this is a tech question but i left a message for you on the 'new release 1.5.0.2' forum and I guess you have got through the issues ok.

I'm still running with v1.5.0.0 because I can't get past the 'looping' stage and I can't uninstall v1.5.0.0. I exit old program, run setup, get choice of language, then looping between 'can't run because of old version'.

Could you assist me on the original forum please?

Thanks
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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 8th Jun, 2010 13:36
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you're right, Mogs.

Hi xjklt. Welcome here! I feel a joke coming on, so be warned!

I'll have a look at your post - you may need a proper teccy - I'll see!

*******************************************

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to the hotel that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten to get his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.

"Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair...try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address.

After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."


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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 8th Jun, 2010 13:44
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Are you trying to say you can't bite with your finger taffy ?! The undertaker may be better with the embalming fluid than the ointment ?! The spoken word is very often loose ?!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 8th Jun, 2010 14:02
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He/she......surely we'll have to agree ?!
We ain't got no drag nor gentlemans' club ?!

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 10th Jun, 2010 05:07
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What, no witty banter about the misfortune of MS & Adobe?

I just finished 73Mb's of Micros#$%'s (somebody found a major security hole) updates. How long has XP, Office and Internet Explorer been out there?

But then Adobe has yet to even respond. Their RC for the .dll file for everyone beside IE (I think) didn't fix it. At least, according to the Secunia Advisory, they reported the vulnerability themselves.

Anyhoo, how's everyone? Hope the weather holds for the weekend. A little rain keeps things green, too much makes us mean! (I should leave the poetry to Mogs.)


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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 10th Jun, 2010 09:04
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Morning Fred !
Are you sure you did'nt mean to post your last in the Gen. Techie thread ? You've normally been a top contributor to this banter/muse/debate and gripe section....we never seem to get freshened up by the weather ?! I hope nobody is still seeding the clouds.....some changes it might explain ?!
Cool here....taffy's got much more than the drizzle.....British June may well be being herself !! Some people may talk more when they're abroad....gossip from Spain maybe too plain.....someone might say "a load of old bull "?!

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 10th Jun, 2010 11:53
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Hi Fred, Mogs.

It's 9° C here at the moment, foggy and heavy rain. If that ain't enough we had no electricity for two hours. It's probably all my fault - I had my hair cut very short ready for a holiday on the Algarve in Portugal!

Hey Mogs - will you put the cyber-kettle on & make some cyber-coffee, please. We may have Brenda visiting us. (See Off-topic).

Oh . . . and some chocolate biscuits please!


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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 10th Jun, 2010 20:37
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Hello;

31C & (reported) 52% humidity, the reporting weather station is about 35 miles from here. They say that the lake doesn't affect the local weather. I've lived here, off & on for 40 years, they're full of it. On a day like today, especially when coming into the area from the south (flatish & few trees) you can see a blue, hazy 'dome' over Camdenton & the surrounding area.

Anyhow, I gave up & turned the air conditioning on.

Pour me a cup, I'll try a biscuit.


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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 10th Jun, 2010 21:32
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Fred - Mogs.

Brenda won't be coming after all. Anthony says she's a machine-generated spammer - see Off-Topic. Sounds a bit like "Red Sonja the Terminating Robocop meets Silence of the Lambs' Godfather".

Sorry, Mogs, that you wasted the cyber-coffee that you had ready for him/her/it/them.

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 10th Jun, 2010 23:42
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Perhaps the undertaker has taken the rings off "her" fingers and nicked "her" teeth taffy ?! Shall we have an old copper kettle and Malted Milk biscuits ( cookies Fred!) ?Will my arms open that wide ? So many things are'nt looking for slimming classes ?!

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 11th Jun, 2010 07:13
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hi Mogs. Fred suggested some great snacks recently. Perhaps we should have some ready in the cyber-fridge in case another Brenda comes along.

Actually, I think we've all done well so far in ID-ing & rooting out spammers etc from here and from the Off-topic thread. Fingers crossed though.

Anthony's WOT suggestion is a good one.

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 11th Jun, 2010 07:41
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Hi Taff;

You're up early, I'm up late.

Speaking of snacks, ring me when breakfast is ready, OK?


Nighty night;

Fred

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 11th Jun, 2010 07:49
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will do Fred. Or Mogs might.

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TiMow RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Dedicated Contributor 11th Jun, 2010 07:50
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Fred

If you're still up and about?

Are you still without flash RC7 (I think it's now full release) for IE?

Filehippo had IE and non-IE, from when it first became an issue.

http://www.filehippo.com/latest/3/

(back on page 3, now).

Probably wrong thread for this, but trying to get you (Fred) before you turn in.

TiMow

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 11th Jun, 2010 07:52
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Morning Fred/taffy !

It's very unlikely that Brenda is in the Baba sisterhood ?
Too many veils/screens and shrouds ?
Many unknown quantities and measurements ?!
Maybe her surname is'nt Sandy, the same as her father ?!
She may have the whole world to play in ?
Ghosts may enter and exit a nation or country ?
There may be colourful lipstick under a yashmak.
Common western misconceptions.....more literate than most ?
What's her favourite vegetable or fruit ?
There may be no deliberate intention to trap nor deceive ?
This is'nt AB nor C in Alphabet City ?
An eye for an eye ?
What films have we got links with ?!
That ain't working.....who's in distress ?! Tough ?!

If the intention is to really be friends.....a profile paragraph ?
Defeat the immigration panel ( 60.7% ) ?
Riches profit not in the day of wrath....how strict is the discipline ?!!!!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 11th Jun, 2010 08:57
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I can't seem to remember one femme fatale nor leading lady in a spaghetti western Fred !!
One of my favourite actresses.....intelligence, humour and wit....and a sexy hint of a Southern "drawl".....probably got to choosing some of the parts she played in some of the scripts or plots....not overly made-up....a natural talent would you think ? It's got to be Jodie Foster.....long after silent movies !! I think Mr Hopkins (?!) should have stayed with Shakespeare ?!

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 11th Jun, 2010 23:34
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Thanks Timow;

Was off to bed by your post time.

Looking now at Flash for IE, I'm even more confused. PSI v.1.5.0.0, "Secure Browsing" reports Flash v.10.0.45.2 as patched. Your link to Flash through Filehippo shows v.10.1.53.64 as the latest. The technical details in Fh say it is RC 7. If PSI is happy, I'll leave it alone for now.

On my little Acer, all three browsers (IE, Chrome & FF) show Flash as "Patched", yippee!

Will post more on "Tech Talk" thread. Found a trojan on big Hal last night after installing the new PSI TP.


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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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I'm not making any points with my ignorance, evasiveness or bad manners taffy ? I hav'nt got anything in my cyber-freezer that can be quickly microwaved !
We have to make allowances for response or reaction times.....I don't think I write like I drive ! Chrome's not always crashing ! Who's highway is it ?! It's not a matter of cultivating a good attitude ?
I don't do polarization nor alienation, nor over familiarization ?! I had a beer today and then I had another....in my casual shoes !!!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 13th Jun, 2010 11:53
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Taffy passed the following on to keep you amused for a minute or two whilst he's on hols.

Quote :-
A famous old footballer has just admitted that for a while he had the hots for an inflatable lady. He soon realised that he should end the relationship but she didn't want to. Being a gentleman, he let her down slowly.

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 14th Jun, 2010 12:52
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I don't mind a tin{can} of sardines now and again; but he's left nothing in the cupboard....not even an ice cube in the fridge !!! We've only got decaffinated...very little sugar....the biscuit tin's still got a rattle to it....the kettle's boiled dry.....I wonder if he'll bring back some milk..........
This place is supposed to be in the top ten gas-spots....how the heck do they do it ?!

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 15th Jun, 2010 05:31
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@Mogs;

Mustard or oil? I do like a dash of Tabasco and saltines. Smoked oysters are a good substitute.

Darn it, now I've gone & made my self hungry and it's almost bedtime. :)

(Like that has ever stopped me in the past.)


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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 16th Jun, 2010 08:02
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Attention!!!

This is in no way computer related, but is very important!

http://dhmo.org/

We may all be doomed!


Fred

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 16th Jun, 2010 09:44
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Do you smoke Fred ?
I went to see the doctor when I was in my teens....'bout an unrelated matter...flu possibly. He finished up by giving me a talking to, 'bout the hazards and risks thereof....how my life might prematurely end !! Although she was still smoking herself ( my mother ) at the time.....I'm sure she put him up to giving me the lecture !! Since then and during the many years that have passed, many teen-junkies have died worlwide....I can't afford oysters on a seabed asleep !!

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thedillpickl RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 17th Jun, 2010 19:52
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@Mogs; Depends on what you're smokin' I suppose. Tried to 'smoke' a salmon once, couldn't keep it lit.

@All; Stay tuned, I have important DHMO information that I have uncovered. It (DHMO) is affecting computing and the way in which we access the internet! This research I have found may save your equipment & have a profound impact on global communication (not just the web).


Fred

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 17th Jun, 2010 19:58
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I like to think I may have helped some poor farmer in Virginia with his balance of payments, over the years Fred !!!!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 19th Jun, 2010 16:52
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The chips are'nt down......
my father's pen was'nt a sabre/laser nor cane !
There's more to being a vet than a good mummy or daddy ?!
If I don't become roadkill; run down, or ramshackle myself....
my living memory is'nt fading, degrading :
I'm not agriculturally cyclical !
If hope is sown.............there's a chance ( a million to one ?); I might finish up happy !!!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 20th Jun, 2010 00:26
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Gees it's "yesterday" already ! Cereal again in the morning !
How safe and clean are who's letters ?!
This little piggy is'nt roasting nor going to market ?!
Where's my mate Pinky or Porky ?!


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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 20th Jun, 2010 11:29
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Don't forget the mushrooms !

Dogs 'n cats ailments are multitudinous.
It's not the mange ?!
The pox ain't always got with a scratch ?!
Blackfly for roses...more or less for thyme; floral arrangements ?
I don't do Sandy Posies !
Some eggs are microscopic compared to chickens !
In the beginning....my great 'n small letters were Such ?!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 24th Jun, 2010 08:53
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Old paper roses ?!

Joy's done a bunk !
Beauty's walked out ( with more or less in her basket !).
Make-up has left the lot off ?!!!!!
Vanity is'nt always in the library....
The coocoo does'nt quack nor wear a white coat ?
Music may have found a new recipe ?!
They don't take it in turns every day of a calendar month ?!
I hav'nt got a brand new religion....I'm not mining for coal !
What's depression ?!
A bin that quickly fills up ?!


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donald111

RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 25th Jun, 2010 07:06
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taffy's on holidays donald ! I think he's gone East to where the sun is supposed to be shining better and brighter ! Tho' in the UK it's something like Spain !!
You might see something from him this weekend perhaps....after he's caught up with all his mail !

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 25th Jun, 2010 09:41
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Daddy was'nt very pro American.
It was Mummy "snored" thro' politics week in and week out.
Six of one and half a dozen ?
I'm not a whole hearted Laden with BaBa !!

Where there's fish, there's not always salt.
Technological is more hooked than human ?
A successful woman there's nothing to fear ?
Womankind all have the same problems ?
What's Nikita's way with her letters.....dear ?

An overcrowded world is full of contention ?

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donald111

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 26th Jun, 2010 07:22
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Morning everybody !



We did'nt start the fire nor urinate on the chips ?

We don't all read the same books?
Nor always make friends on an Ozzie's patio ?
How straight things are, is oft a matter of....
supposition, good or evil surmisings, and conjecture ?!
The Nile; not an Egyptian canal, tends still to wander and meander ?
I'm not a slave to an ancient Altzheimer patient ?!
What's the road like when it's raining ?!
I hav'nt fallen in the gravy....it's not tea-time on the Indian railway ?!
Who's the phantom points changer ?!

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donald111 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Member 26th Jun, 2010 22:14
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taffy078 ...if u want ladied would come in this thred, u should talk about beauty tips and fashion.

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 28th Jun, 2010 10:20
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back from the Algarve! Refreshed and raring to go.

I'm nor sure if I should post this in the Off-Topic General Tech thread but here goes.
I've just run a scan and found that my PC has the Robert Green virus. It can't save anything.

(World Cup - football!)


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taffy078, West Yorkshire, UK

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 28th Jun, 2010 10:24
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good idea, donald111.

I think our resident experts should brainstorm the topics and get back pronto:

Mogs: beauty

Fred (theDillpickl): Fashion


What do you think, donald111?



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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 28th Jun, 2010 15:06
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Oh no taffy.....I'm not getting lumbered with that topic/aspect of femininity !! A log file for every tongue, toe or finger ?! What they talk about at the hairdresser's?! I know some subjects are intellectually stimulating....this fertile place ain't sought by the barren ?! In my defence....at least Maggie was up every morning ?! I'm not studying how wrinkles are got.....whether they agree with veils or a yashmak ?!
I'm not palm leaves at this oasis ?! A tan requires that some be sojourning ?!
I'm not a young man to my daughter ! I tend to see myself differently !
Then there's cloaking and clothing it....over to Fred ?!

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 28th Jun, 2010 16:24
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Marilyn Monroe X-rays snapped up for $45,000
1 hour 4 mins ago
Buzz Up!Print Story
Three X-rays of Hollywood actress Marilyn Monroe's chest and pelvis taken during a hospital visit have sold for more than 10 times their pre-sale estimates, earning $45,000 (29,862 pounds). Skip related content

Auction house Julien's said in a statement that the sale was part of an auction of Hollywood Legends memorabilia which took place at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas over the weekend with the X-rays expected to go for $800 to $1,200 each.

The highlights of the sale had toured Ireland, Japan and China before finally going under the hammer.

The Monroe X-rays came from a 1954 visit by the actress to the Cedars of Lebanon Hospital. The actress died in August 1962 at the age of 36.


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donald111 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Member 28th Jun, 2010 20:22
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Tips on lossing weight and yoga are one of the best topic. what do think taffy078.

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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 29th Jun, 2010 12:54
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on 28th Jun, 2010 20:22, donald111 wrote:
Tips on lossing weight and yoga are one of the best topic. what do think taffy078.

Hi again, Donald. If [u]you[/u] have any tips on losing weight, feel free to share.
Re yoga, he was one of my favourite Hanna & Barbera characters. ;0)

PS A group of bats, hanging from the ceiling of a cave, discover a single bat STANDING upright below them on the floor of the cave.

Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask "What's wrong with you? What are you doing down there?"

The standing bat answers "Yoga!"

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taffy078, West Yorkshire, UK

Desktop: Compaq Presario (OEM) 32 bit / AMD Athlon / 2 GB RAM
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donald111 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Member 29th Jun, 2010 21:21
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hi taffy078
i have not more tips for losing weight ....but when i don't eat regularly on time,i losses my weight very fast.....this is very funny joke on yoga and bat.
u know yoga is one of the best exercise to be fit without lifting heavy weight for men and women .

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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 29th Jun, 2010 23:21
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How was your day taffy ?
Here's something you may never forget ?
"B..b..b..b baby, you ain't seen nothin' yet"
was playin' as I sped back from Cornwall
thro' lazy-day Devon and Somerset.
Gunned the engine to a growl behind some rockin' and briny guitars.
Window down and music loud;
few caravans, clowns crowds nor clouds.
The things I do to keep from falling asleep ?!
Another was Genesis or Phil.........
What mountain ? Who's over what hill ?
Follow me ? There's more to this life than a ticket ?!

Time for cocoa !!



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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 30th Jun, 2010 10:28
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Last edited on 30th Jun, 2010 10:29
good morning, young Mogs. Yesterday was a frustrating day - it was a "stay at home waiting for a delivery day". No gardening, because of the weather, so I opted to catch up on my emails BUT
my ISP (BT Yahoo) had a major outage that 'shut' one of their servers. It was the one handling their "name.name@btinternet.com" customers. No problems, it seemed, as I also have (for historical reasons) a "name.name@btopenworld.com". This was working.

But it wasn't working this morning - well, the Mail folder wasn't, retunring a message "Server Hangup" on both my profiles. So I have no email facilities for now.

I rang their Help Desk - the first thing the advisor did was to clear out old internet dross. That then stopped Norton Identity Safe from working and the Norton Toolbar was empty!

I eventually sorted it.

But in all of that, I found that my System Restore wouldn't restore to ANY previous point. I've just saved today as a system restore point and so tomorrow I'll see if it restores it.

I have the maximum 12% of disk space (=18314 MB). I'm sure I'll google and find a simple solution tomorrow but it's one of those PC days!!!

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taffy078, West Yorkshire, UK

Desktop: Compaq Presario (OEM) 32 bit / AMD Athlon / 2 GB RAM
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mogs RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Expert Contributor 30th Jun, 2010 11:33
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Gees taffy...that's a saga and an epic...
you've been gifted
with endless themes for many an ode !!!
Imagine the smiles you could raise or the tears you could jerk ?!
Technology is'nt really a curse.....
just need a mindbender to turn it around !!
There's always someone worse off......I'm not so sure !
You've got a seeming monopoly on quirks !!





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taffy078 RE: Relax & Chat – June 2010
Contributor 30th Jun, 2010 21:49
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Last edited on 30th Jun, 2010 21:54
Update - 89 posts and 954 views suggest to me that there is support for this Topic to be continued. Thank you!

Secunia will lock this tomorrow so the July topic is now open. Please post there as from now. Thanks! :0)


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